Fingers worn to bloodied stumps? Check Eyeballs tinted with permanent pink glaze? Check
Typing inaccurately at speed with resultant copy full of favourite finger slip misspellings? Check (‘thnaks’ anyone, or is that just me??)
Surreptitiously eating chocolate covered raisins whilst on the phone? Check
Perfecting the art of silent cigarette lighting? Check
In that case, it must be assessment time again. I’m one of a number of freelance assessors for a grant-making organisation, a role that I took on when I was self-employed and have continued with now that I’m not. Part of the assessment process is an interview by telephone with every applicant, following which I write up and submit a report. The work’s enjoyable and I’m endlessly delighted to learn more about some of the wonderful projects that organisations up and down the country provide for disadvantaged children and young people.
But there is one downside. As I’m currently in a normal job (if such a thing exists), I have to fit the whole thing – preparation, interviews, report writing etc – around and about the day job. Which means an awful lot of frantic typing and general eye-propping and late-night oil burning for me in order to meet the deadlines.
Although I did grant myself the evening off to go over to my scuba diving club’s regular Tuesday night pub meeting. Super time (and away from the computer too), two health-giving glasses of beardy ale, some great conversation, a bag of chips on the way home and… It’s official! I am now a BSAC qualified Ocean Diver. Couldn’t resist taking a photo of my certificate (that's it ^^up there^^).
And then when I arrived home this evening and carried out my essential pr
e-assessment-interview ‘comfort stop’, I found a cat in the bathroom. Light ginger and sitting quite happily on top of a posh purple silk box of bubble bath that my mother gave me for Christmas. He must have snuck in somehow past Kaos, who was lying in a dog-day coma on the living room floor. One can only hope the dog might be a little more of a deterrent to real cat burglars…Right, that’s my half hour tea break over so back to writing the assessments. If you see a plume of smoke hanging over my little house at midnight, please don’t worry – it’ll just be my smouldering finger stumps fusing to the melting keyboard.
Congratulations on the scuba certification, Katy! I know you'll enjoy your undersea adventures :)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe the cat got past the dog! It's neat that you have such interesting projects to work on. Don't burn too much midnight oil...save some energy for just having fun :)
Have a Happy Day!
I have sort of experienced the same complications and dilemmas from volunteering to judge newspaper contests, Katy. No rest for the (fill in the blank________).
ReplyDeleteYes, congratulations, on your BSAC qualified Ocean Diver designation. Now, should all else fail, you can open your own undersea salvage operation and roam the world searching for sunken treasure.
In some respects, dogs often are not the sharpest creatures in the animal kingdom. They generally exhibit a poor sense of direction and other, stealthier animals, can make fools of them. I once watched three or four doe and assorted fawns tiptoe within three or four feet past a sleeping German Shepherd and a sleeping Doberman, who remained in subliminal bliss throughout. The dogs were in a fenced kennel. My assumption is that the deer knew it.
This is a normal job Katy? It sounds more like mine - except you get paid. Ask the cat, "What do you call a cat that plays drums?" (A drum kit.)
ReplyDeleteHey, thank you for your good wishes Fram, that's very sweet of you. I'm delighted to have passed. Even though I'm still a 'baby diver', at least I've reached the first milestone. Undersea salvage operations alternating with sitting reading under a straw umbrella on a beautiful deserted beach? Hmmm, could be worse. Maybe when the barn sells (eventually), that's exactly what I'll do.
ReplyDeleteLove your dogs and deer story! So true, dogs are really not always the shiniest pebbles on the beach. In that sort of 'magical realism' way that dogs share with very young children, he keeps on staring intently at the spot where the cat was sitting yesterday, expecting, I think, for the cat to materialise again.
Hee hee hee, drum kit - very good Cat! A normal job? I'm not really sure if such a thing exists :-)
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I do at the moment have a normal job as well, and this occasional freelance assessment work is outside of that. Moonlighting in a way I suppose?