Of frogs and men

Aside from spam offering me cures for, um, shall we say gender-related health issues that I could not possibly have, one of the items that I can be sure my inbox will contain on a regular basis is those round robin e-mails. You know the ones: spinning sparkling guardian angels, flowery friendship poems, inexplicable photographs of cats, dire ‘police’ warnings, nicely-worded chain letters warning me everyone I’ve ever met will die if I don’t immediately forward to 100 of my closest friends, and such. Sometimes they’re funny; sometimes they’re plain daft. But just occasionally, they make me laugh out loud.

Last night, I received one such from my friend Mary-Ann:

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the
other day when he heard a voice say “Pick me up”
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming
when he heard the voice say again. “Pick me up”
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The
man said, “Are you talking to me?”
The frog said, “Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me and
I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that
all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your
bride.”
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up
carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I
said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, 'Nah, at my age I'd
rather have a talking frog.'

Ok, I have to confess here and now that I’m not 72 or male, nor do I enjoy fishing for that matter, but this one really struck a chord. After being single for 18 months, I’ve recently come to the decision that, right now, a relationship is really not what I’m looking for.

Now don’t get me wrong; I haven’t slipped into the mindset of thinking that all men are cads and bounders, nor have I closed my mind to the thought of being in a relationship with someone in the future. No, far from it – I’d like that very much indeed, one day. It’s just that, at this moment, I have realised that a relationship with someone is not what I want.

There have certainly been clues along the way that could have led me to this conclusion sooner. I have, for instance, been on quite a number of dates over the past six months or so. Without exception, the guys I’ve spent the evenings with have been charming and pleasant company (including, rather surreally, the one who brought with him a handgun concealed in a shoulder holster. On a first date. In a pub) and have asked to see me again. Equally without exception, I have known from the word go that each was not for me. The men were all quite different from each other in appearance, jobs, lifestyle, interests and such; no, the one thread in common was me. And that was quite fine.

I guess maybe I’m just a bit slow on the uptake.

Having finally come to the realisation that, for whatever reason, I really don't want to be involved with someone right now, I am actually rather relieved and strangely very happy about it. Sure, if I happen to bump into Mr Wonderful quite by chance, then that’s great and fantastic and so be it. I’m certainly not closing my mind to the possibility. But for now I ain’t looking.

And so if I do stumble upon a nice talking frog - for now at least - I’ll just pop him right into my handbag.